A Prayer.

Thank you God for my strong, caring, husband. Thank you God for my 3 little men who will grow up to be strong, caring husbands and love their mama. Thank you God for our little girl who wakes up smiling and thinks I hung the moon.

But most of all, Thank you God for WINE! Be ye red, white, or somewhere in between, wine, you keep me sane, you keep me married to that strong, caring husband I have. You keep me devoted to my three little men, and you keep me smiling at that little girl who wakes up smiling back.

These years are great, but they're hard. They are damn hard no matter what any other mama says. If any mama says these are the fun, easy years, she is either on some good meds, or lying.

A moment in the fog.

I'm back.
I mean, I guess I'm back. I'm writing again, that's a good thing.
But the truth is, I've never felt so "not back" in my life!
I know on paper and in my mind I'm so blessed. Great husband, check. Not one, two, or three, but FOUR healthy happy children, check. A place to live, check.
So why am I so lonely and sad? I try to think, "oh it must be the hormones from the latest pregnancy (only 4 months ago) trying to work their way back to regulation in my body.
If that's the case, great I'll try to ride it out.
But what if that's not the case?
I feel stuck. I have all these little faces staring at me and pulling me in 4 different directions from the moment I wake up until I finally get the last one tucked in at night.
The Mister and I said we were going to find a family business to do together so we could spend more time together as a family, but I think I'm much more motivated to do that than he is.
What do you do as a couple when you just can't seem to get on the same page?
I'm stuck.